A lonely post-grad ran a 35-person, 5-week experiment talking to gym strangers daily to build friendships from scratch in Syracuse.
Key Takeaways
Opening line “Hey I see you here all the time. You’re pretty strong. What’s your split?” worked as a repeatable cold-approach template.
Customizing openers per person (hat, hair, exercise) improved conversation quality after week one.
Approach speed mattered: hesitation caused chickening out; committing immediately before anxiety set in was the fix.
Short/curt responses were common early but rarely meant permanent rejection; fist bumps and waves persisted with “failed” conversations.
After 35 approaches, OP narrowed focus to 5-6 recurring contacts to deepen connections rather than keep expanding volume.
Hacker News Comment Review
Commenters pushed back hard on Reddit-derived advice that talking to gym strangers is rude; the post is seen as evidence that terminally-online introverts over-index on worst-case rejection scenarios.
Asking for a small favor (spot, exercise tip) was flagged as a lower-friction opener than complimenting or making small talk, citing the Ben Franklin effect.
Volunteering and “quest” framing (seeking something specific) were offered as structural alternatives that create natural context and mutual off-ramps for the interaction.
Notable Comments
@talkingtab: “Be on a quest” – having a specific goal gives both parties a topic and a natural exit, making cold approaches far less awkward.
@outime: Asking for a small favor first outperforms offering one; most people enjoy feeling useful and it lowers approach friction significantly.
